it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
