It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
