hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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