I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
