Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
