And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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