How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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