My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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