I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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