someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
