Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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