Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
