My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
