i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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