you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
