the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
