I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
