everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize