Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
