Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
