i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
