We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So much Jack, so little girl.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
