The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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