Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
