She's JV to your varsity
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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