So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
