dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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