East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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