So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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