i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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