im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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