she was so not down for the gang bang
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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