didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
