before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
These tits shall not be calmed
jump out the window naked night went bad
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
