I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I believe in your delicious
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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