fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
