As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
