I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
