Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
