what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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