I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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