i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
