you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize