Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
