I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
