why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
