So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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