is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are we still banned from the library?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
