Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
