I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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