jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
