just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
