the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize