she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
