You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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