well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
