You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
