My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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