I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
