How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
