After last night, I could never be a politician.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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